i want to cry about something significant, and make it have a purpose.
a life worth living is something that others can model after, not one filled with mistakes.
but if everyone makes mistakes, than what are role models?
nobody is perfect, and nobody is greater than someone else.
we are all equal, and yet we think we are masters and owners of one another.

have you ever felt like you needed to run? just run as far as you can and never look back until you feel that you're ready to face what you fear most?
if love is your fear, then how can you live? but love is a reasonable fear. it's just that we love ones around us. but there's this one person, or maybe multiple people, that we fear because of heartbreak or bad past experiences. and we can't stop them from coming, because they're always there.

i want to cry and make it not be personal. i want to shed a tear and give a dedication out to everyone that falls on the palm of my hand. i want, but i don't need, and that's something that i think we all miss.

a need is not a want, but something we will do most anything for.
and if you need love, then how can you survive if you don't get it?
do you not survive? are you just imagining everything?
or when you're in love, is it then that you have no clue what you're doing?

"I laugh because I must not cry. That is all. That is all."
-abraham lincoln.

i stole this idea from someone [except she did onetwenty, and i got bored].
anddd i thought it would be entertaining.
so we'll see how it goes.
fifty things about me.
1] i'm really addicted to the internet and my cell phone. days i go without either, a part of me is missing and i feel out of it. it's really pathetic.
2] i share a slightly huge obsession with regina spektor, along with my best friend.
3] i'm a singer, and have been since seventh grade. i plan on majoring in something like music education.
4] i'm the fourth generation to attend my high school on my mom's side.
5] therefore, and many other reasons, i hate my living destination.
6] when peace became a trend, i followed along & i feel horrible about it.
7] i'm very democrat. obama '08.
8] there's certain things i'm really ocd about. such as:
9] volumes cannot be on odd numbers. i will freak out and whine until this is changed.
10] my myspace has to be at even lengths, or else it bugs the shit out of me.
11] on itunes, 0-19 plays is zero stars, 20-39 is one, 40-59 is two, 60-79 is three, 80-99 is four, and 100+ is five.
12] say anyways, and you die. also, confusing "your", "you're", "there", "their", and "they're".
etc. you get it, right?
13] i'm left handed. :] woot.
14] i'm also blue eyed. apparently, this is rare?
15] the only thing i collect is diet snapple caps. and apparently, 75% are false. but i still collect them.
16] i've never broken anything [bones and such] in my life.
17] i've never broken a heart, nor had my heart broken [it's complicated].
18] my mom doesn't like animals, therefore i have no pets. i grew up with a dog, and have had 5 fish [all died within a week] and a hamster [went missing and came back with a tumor].
19] when i move out, i plan to get a pug and name it pepe. and make it wear a buret at all times.
20] i'm a vegetarian, and have been since christmas '06. :]
21] musicals=my thing. i have every word memorized to multiple soundtracks, and love to belt songs at the top of my lungs while cleaning. i like go to at least one musical a month. it makes me, me.
22] sometimes, i think i know too much about music for my age.
but then again, i'm naive compared to some people. ...but not many.
23] i went to the grammies in sixth grade. i know, extravagent. it was my dad's dream to go, and so we went, and it's one of the most memorable weekends in my life. i was five feet away from chris martin [lead singer of coldplay] at one point. :D
24] i like dresses, hats, skinny jeans, shoes, cute underwear, leggings, band shirts, and headbands as far as clothing go. and let's not forget dark-framed black glasses. it sounds like a lot, but keep in mind:
25] both my parents worked at nordstrom for 20+ years. it's in my genes.
26] i hate hate hate the color orange. but it's starting to grow on me.
27] i also hate high school musical and miley cyrus. and the jonas brother's fangirls.
28] jim halpert [john krasinski]'s personality + teddy geiger's appearance = my ideal husband. but i can't complain with what i have now. <3
29] i'm a city girl.
30] i dislike winter, snow, and everything having to do with cold. i'm a summer person.
31] i'm also an east coast girl at heart. but i live on the west [sadly enough]. and i plan on living in portland after high school.
32] i've moved six times in my life. virginia, washington, new jersey, virginia, washington, washington.
33] i've recently switched to coconut suave shampoo, and i can't stop smelling my hair.
34] the office is, and always will be, my favorite tv show. i'm addicted, and i've seen every episode. i love having conversations about it. i own every season on dvd, and my favorite episode is the dundies. i will go on more, but i will start to scare you with my addiction.
35] the person i love most lives 2,914 miles away from me.
36] my first love was a gay man. i know, it's funny. until i tell you he cheated on me with a hot dude who's a year younger than me.
...okay, so maybe you still think that's funny.
37] people have told me my life would make a good musical. i agree, sadly enough.
38] my family and i have a severe addiction to club med ixtapa. i've been ten times. ...not exaggerating. but it's changed my life in more ways than one. :]
39] pssst, i don't listen in chemistry. instead, i play games on my phone and text people. the whole period. and i've never been caught. oh, did i mention i have a C?
40] i've never been outside north america. or to canada for that matter.
41] my sophomore year was the worst school year ever for me. ever.
42] first grade was the best. my only year i had school in virginia. amazingness.
43] my first crush was in pre-k. it was this french kid [joey?] and he gave me a monet book and i went all googly-eyed over him.
44] my best friends complete me. end of story.
45] i have a shitload of cousins.
46] the best concert i've ever been to has got to be dashboard confessional. even though chris carrabba covered so what by pink.
47] i'm a myspace picture whore. sorry. xD
48] i use smiley faces wayyy too much. and i put multiple letters at the end of things way too often. like thisss.
49] THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID.
^favorite saying.
50] wall-e's my favorite movie. ...but not 'cause of the movie.